Chapter 6 - I-Messages

This chapter focused on the use of I (personal) statements during expressing feelings in order to minimize hurt feelings from others and counterattacks. These are sometimes referred to as responsibility messages because people are sometimes unaware of their impact on others. The book shows the use of this technique with a couple that are dealing with marital problems. The counselor sets up a scene that typically ends in an argument in order to see how they typically communicate with each other, and then interrupts before they start an argument and asks them to use this technique when talking to each other. I-messages can be used in any situation where there are issues with negative communication or interactions between people. This can help people to take responsibility for their own feelings and thoughts, while also expressing those thoughts to others in a non-confrontational manner so as not to cause an argument. It can also be helpful in situations where a particularly passive person is having difficulty communicating his/her thoughts or feelings to another person. I think that this technique, when used correctly can be helpful in taking responsibility for your own actions and feelings. However, sometimes I feel like sometimes this technique, if not used properly, can end up in an argument anyway due to intentional misinterpretation. It may only work with people who are willing to attempt to see the other person’s side of a given situation.